Monday, 25 November 2013

So I'm turning 21 Years Old?...

Twenty - One?
I Can't Believe it..
I feel like I've blinked and turned from 14 to 21 honestly.

So today's post is slightly different...
Its been a long time in planning and I finally decided how I want it to be.
I wanted at my birthday party to say thank you to everyone,but since a few important people can't be there this was the best way (and the fact I would've cryed).

The last few years have just been manic and I feel like my feet have only just come back down to the ground. 
It's been hard to get to a point where I feel 'safe' and that nothing was going to wrong again.
Some people don't understand that after three transplants in the time span of a year,why you always panic about little things..
Transplant Isn't just one operation and it's done. Your life is forever dependent on medication and at times that's hard to digest - even now.

But as hard as its been to get to this point there are some people that have been the main reason I feel safe,and the happiest I ever have been..

Mom & Dad.

Parent's take on a life long responsibility when they have a child,and I can't explain how much my parent's have just out done the 'expectations' of being a parent.
None of us are perfect,and I was always brought up knowing that,that none of us are any better then the next person - but my parents are simply the best you could ask for.
They have brought me up in the best way I could ever have asked for,and I had the most brilliant childhood. There was never a moment I felt like they weren't there for me.
Through my early teenage years,they continued to show me what was important in relationships and friendships and ways to be the best person that I could be and I always felt they were the only people I could ever talk about everything.
Then right through to when I fell ill,it hurt so much that there was nothing I could do to comfort them,and let them know that I would be okay. But they never let me see that,and hospital was always full of loving and fun memories,and this meant I never felt scared.
And this went right on to my recovery. Showing that parents do not need to be together to work together to ensure there child always feels safe,has someone to turn to in times of need and to always know where home is.
Things haven't been easy the past few years for us three,but when friends turned there backs to me You were both there,and you always are.
When I'm having a bad day or feeling homesick - its you I call.
You are My Best Friends.
And that will never ever change


My Little Ray Of Sunshine.
How is it possible that such a little person can bring so much happiness to your life?
Being an only child for such a long time,it took me time to adapt to having a sister,but now I can't imagine my life without her.
She is just a bundle of fun and always cheers me up whenever somethings wrong,and the bottom line is when things got rough in hospital,I fought because I couldn't imagine not being there to see her grow into those chubby cheeks..
In her short three years she's managed to bring so much happiness to my life and her innocence is just refreshing when life seems to be getting me down.
I'm there to wipe her tears when I can,and she's been there to give me big hugs and kisses when I've cried too.
I can't wait to tell her all about the things she did for me when she's older,as I know she will just go on to be a kind and caring little girl - even if she's mischievous.

My Family.

My Family are just amazing.
Whenever I need someone to talk to - there all always there.
And more importantly I knew that Mum & Dad were always been looked after when they were down.
And I can't thank them enough for that.
I feel like,since a lot of my 'friends' just dropped me when I got sick that sometimes my only friends where my family.
We have all been through so much together,and I'm so happy that things are looking up for all of us as the past few years have just been crazy..
Thank you ALL for everything.


I never ever thought that I'd find someone like Gareth.
Someone who saw me for me.
After all not many people would ask a girl with a NG tube out on a date...
When we got together he never wanted to know about my health 24/7 he actually wanted to know how I was and to get to know me.
He was the first person who had met me away from the transplant business and wasn't scared off..
We've had out fair amount of drama but I've never had someone love me as much as he does.
Since moving in together we have just gone from strength to strength,and although it's not always easy we make it work.
He has brought me right out my shell for the first time in years,even before I fell ill.
He is a big part of the person I am now,and I'll never be able to thank him enough.

I will always Love You.

True Friends.

Right. This is a very touchy subject for me.
When I was sick,people that should have been by my bedside - were not.
There were only a few friends (can count on one hand) that actually came to visit,righttt from the start back at heartlands hospital even when we didn't know the severity of how ill I was.
These are my true friends.
They took time out of there lives,to come and visit me and always check I was okay.
If they couldn't contact me ? They'd contact my parents.
I can never ever say thank you enough to these people.
Friendship is all about being there during all the fun times and supporting each other in the hard times too.
But even some people who couldn't visit would always text me everyday and that meant a lot.

Family Friends.

We can not choose our family but we can choose out friends.
Our family friends are so precious!
They have supported us all over my whole teenage life,
they have all given me chances to experience lots of different things whether that be holidays or gigs.
I love them all to pieces and they may as well be family.
Kind of funny how Gareth's family have known me for years and they have become part of the family over years,and now me and Gareth are together - madness!
Thank you for all being there and for being so supportive of everything I do.

Transplant Buddies,Support Workers & Nurses.

During the past 3 years I have met some amazing people who have helped me become who I am today.
Without the support and friendship of these people I would have struggled so hard to where I am now.
Friends I have made on the ward,the most amazing girls I have ever met,and I'll take those memories forever with me as some of you kept me sane up on the ward. Even though some of you can't still be here,you still make me want to continue what I'm doing.
And that goes for you Phillipa,Monica and my Beautiful nurses!
You all made me feel comfortable and cheered me up when family couldn't be there. Hugged me through the tears,and shared laughter with me too.
And it didn't just stop in hospital so many of you inspired me outside of hospital right until now and keep me smiling all the time.

Marcia Collins & Carmel Crickmar.

Two of the most beautiful & influential women who have ever come into my life - and left way to soon...
These two ladies I met through my time on the ward. 
Marcia I was drawn straight to. She showed me what strength and positivity was and both her and her amazing husband Andrew told me how important it was to have both of those to get through the illness and life in general.
She was so kind and caring and I will never forget the memories we shared together.
She was always but in the bed opposite me and I always felt comfortable with that as I always had a friend. Especially while we both sat watching xfactor and was singing along! Memories like those are so precious.
Then I met Carmel.
A Kind and Caring girl who had been through so much but still had time for everybody else. So much to the point that after my last transplant,having problems of her own she came to see me in ICU. She was such a brave young lady and I can completely say that she gave me that extra push to try and promote organ donation the best I could..
These two ladies are examples of people that never should have been taken away so soon but they touched so many lives while they were here.
I'll never forget them and live life hoping I can make them proud.

So really...
Just thank you to everyone who over these amazing twenty years has made me into the person I am today by being such a big part of my life.
Ofcourse there are so many more people then above but I would be here all day writing about them all..

Twenty - One?
Who'da thought it!


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